span me

years

span me the distance between

our separation and our future children

i want our love to span lifetimes

caught all here at once stretching

the circumference of the earth

and all the years in between

what year is it?

how old are we now?

where are we?

when will we get home?

every day

better than the last

just have to remember

the is no such thing as starting over

there is only now anyway

there are no blank pages

and usually no one's taking pictures

Making Peace

Making peace with my ancestors

means following my heart

means accepting my calling

means letting the spirit guide me

This is how I surmount mountains of challenges

set before like chutes and ladders, this is how

I stop my own conflicts

All around me

I still hear you arguing

with each other, with your ghosts

I have stopped fighting

you, our universe

I will find happiness

in peace, not conflict

It only makes sense

In The Graveyard

::: Walking around in the graveyard I think of you and the ways you used to touch me  so certain with your fingertips you'd trace my curves  so perfect and then just graze my heart with your lips You would tell me I love you and please don't be afraid fit your heart inside mineI wanted you to hold me forever I wanted us to never die I study the tricolored moss on the headstones  and think of you and I undressing the way the candles flickered  more intensely the more we moved the hotter it got I remember shouting This is how I want to die because there was nothing else I enjoyed more nothing else I enjoyed at all nothing

for the first time in a long time

i am alone

for a moment there

fleeting, i felt your touch

now i can't sleep

because you are gone

i can't feel your arms around me

i can't smell you at all

i try to find your scent in dirty clothes or small scraps you once gave me

i smell nothing

i call you and you don't answer

i can't even leave a message

you are gone

from me 

from us

i am also somewhere else

alone

 

The Ghost

The Ghost is

my best friend

all the darkness in the world

pushed up into a wall around you

then caving in on you

consuming you and taking you

it is all the fear in the world

You know it so well

and pretend not to recognize

Your friend, The Ghost

is waiting impatiently inside me

You don't know me at all

You pretend to show me

your haven for fears

like I will scare away

up inside your open ribcage

for shelter

Oh no, I don't think you understand

I can't get close to you

I am taken by him

and his wounds

I cannot heal

They will eat me alive

once they see

I am weak

All this people watching gets me nowhere

Still can't find a reason for all this flesh

between us and out fate

It is all the fear in the world

It is all the beauty

you have ever known

you may never see

tied up inside your self

waiting to be seen

...